Tag: relationships

It’s Complicated: Part 3

Today, College Pastor Carl Gulley wrapped up our series with a message on crucial conversations. There are two sides to crucial conversations, the way we address them and the way we respond. These conversations aren’t always easy, but the reward is always worth the risk.

Key Takeaways:
  • Crucial conversations are when the stakes are high, opinions vary and emotions run strong. (From the book, Crucial Conversations, by Kerry Patterson)
  • The peace you are longing for could require a crucial conversation on your part, whether we like it or not.
  • The reward of these conversations is worth the risk it’s going to take.
  • When a follower of Jesus holds the conviction that he or she needs to step into the awkward zone and have a crucial conversation, the result could effect their relationship with God and their relationships across the board.
  • Questions, not accusations, lead to reconciliation.
  • How to address crucial conversations (Abigail’s approach from 1 Samuel 25:18-35):
    • 1) Come in humbly (The soft start-up. Harsh responses have a 96 percent chance of ending negatively.)
    • 2) Ask questions
    • 3) Briefly state the offense (Inlcude context and specific examples, but keep it brief.)
    • 4) Give them a chance to respond
Key Scriptures:
In Response:

Carl left us with a challenge to welcome feedback and correction this week by asking three people the following question:

“What is it like to be on the other side of me?”

We all need help to see our blind spots. Who are the people in your life that can help you see yours? Ask them this question this week and take ownership of your actions. It’s worth it!

Catch up on the sermons from Week 1 or Week 2 if you missed them.

It’s Complicated: Part 2

This week Carl continued our series, It’s Complicated, with a message on offense. Offenses, both intentional and unintentional, happen to all of us. While we can’t control the actions against us, we can control our response. When we choose to not act out of offense, but to respond with honor and forgiveness, we set ourselves up to walk out in freedom.

Key Takeaways:
  • Relationships need balance. The three rules of balance are:
    • 1) We must have a reference point. As believers, our reference point is the Word of God.
    • 2) We have to make course corrections.
    • 3) We need a clear objective or goal. We have to know where we are going.
  • Offense is a trap of the enemy, but forgiveness and honor are the way to get out of the trap.
  • I will not let offense, unintentional or intentional, build a wall between you and me or between me and God.
  • Unintentional offenses are not planned but still feel intentionally personal.
  • The question we need to ask ourselves in unintentional offense is: Why does their success make me feel like a failure?
  • When our needs are threatened we respond in fear, and we must learn to take our fears to God, otherwise we’ll build walls.
  • The unjustified actions of another against you will make you feel like you are justified to sin against them. But we have to let God take care of it.
  • You cannot control what other do to you, but you can control how you respond, and your response determines your future.
  • Forgiving when we don’t feel like it isn’t fake – it’s faith. It takes faith to forgive. The emotions of your heart will follow the disciplines of your behavior.
Key Verses: