Part 01 | Fully Known. Fully Loved.
Lifegroup Discussion Guide
Sermon Summary
Pastor Carl Gulley opens this new series on "House to House" living by challenging both our personality preferences and our resistance to authentic community.
This teaching identifies three key barriers that keep us from authentic Christian community:
Lack of modeling in our backgrounds
Past wounds from community experience
And most significantly, shame.
Using John Ortberg's framework, Carl illustrated four relational quadrants:
isolation (not known, not accepted),
rejection (fully known, not accepted),
impression management (not known, but accepted),
and intimacy (fully known, fully loved).
He argued that God designed us for the fourth quadrant - being fully known and fully loved - and that this is where shame loses its power. Carl shared a powerful story from his own life group experience, where confessing his deepest insecurities led to healing through the love and acceptance of his community.
The sermon concludes by connecting this house-to-house living to the early church in Acts 2, showing how they lived out the values of prayer, evangelism, discipleship, and fellowship through both temple gatherings and home meetings. Carl emphasized that while community is costly, isolation costs even more, and that this ancient path of authentic relationship remains God's design for our transformation into people of love. The ultimate source of being fully known and fully loved, he reminded us, comes from the cross of Jesus Christ, where we were known completely yet loved unconditionally.
Key Scriptures
Hebrews 10:23-25 (NIV)
"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
James 5:16 (NIV)
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."
Acts 2:42-47 (NIV)
"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."
Proverbs 28:13 (NIV)
"Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy."
Matthew 22:37-39 (NIV)
"Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
Discussion Questions
Pick some of these questions to dig deeper in this message and put it into practice:
Carl shared that God designed healing to happen through confession and community (James 5:16). How does it encourage you to know that God's plan for your healing involves the love and support of others? What does this reveal about God's heart for you?
Throughout Scripture, Jesus is described as someone who came "eating and drinking," and the sermon highlighted how meals create connection. Share about a time when sharing a meal led to meaningful connection or when someone showed you love around a table. How does this picture of Jesus encourage you?
Carl challenged the idea that community is just about personality preferences, saying "Jesus did not call us to build our lives around personalities or preferences... he gave us a purpose." How does this challenge your own resistance to community? What excuses have you used that might actually be about comfort rather than calling?
The sermon stated that "the cost of walking in relationship is high, but the cost of isolation is even higher." Reflecting honestly, what costs have you experienced from isolation or keeping people at arm's length? How might God be calling you to take risks in relationship?
Carl described shame as something that gives us only one option - to turn away from others. Can you share about a time when shame kept you from being authentic with others? How did that isolation affect you, and what helped you move toward connection again?
Think about the four quadrants Carl described: isolation, rejection, impression management, and intimacy. Which quadrant do you find yourself living in most often, and why? Can you share about a time when you experienced being "fully known and fully loved" by someone?
The early church in Acts 2 demonstrated four key values: prayer, evangelism, discipleship, and fellowship. Which of these values feels most natural to you, and which feels most challenging? How do you see these values working together to create authentic community?
Carl pointed out that Paul connects end times with the need for community in Hebrews 10:25 ("all the more as you see the Day approaching"). Why do you think community becomes even more important during difficult times? What does this teach us about preparing for challenges?
If God designed us to live in the quadrant of being "fully known and fully loved," what specific step could you take this week to move away from impression management or isolation toward authentic relationship within your community?
James 5:16 calls us to "confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." This requires tremendous vulnerability. How might you practically begin to embrace this spiritual practice in your life group or close relationships? What support do you need to take this step?