How to Choose Your Friends: Proverbs Pt. 3
Sermon Summary
In this message from Proverbs 13:20, we are invited to discover what the Bible teaches about choosing good friends and becoming a good friend. Friendship is not passive; it requires intentionality and developed skills. The book of Proverbs offers practical wisdom on how to cultivate godly friendships and become the kind of friend God calls us to be. From friendliness and reliability to bringing joy, showing grace and offering honest feedback, Scripture encourages each of us to become the kind of friend worth having. It also reminds us to choose our friends wisely, recognizing that the people we walk with will shape the person we are becoming.
Key Scriptures
Proverbs 13:20 (NIV) "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm."
Proverbs 18:24 (NIV) "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
Proverbs 12:26 (NIV) "The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray."
Proverbs 1:7 (NIV) "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Proverbs 27:6 (NIV) "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."
Instructions for Groups
Choose a few of these questions from the various categories to go deeper in the sermon and put the truths of Scripture into practice. You don't need to answer every question. Select the ones that will best help you engage with God's Word and apply it to your life.
Discussion Questions
Scripture Study and Deeper Understanding
Read Proverbs 13:20 closely. The verse uses two specific word pictures -- "walking with" and being a "companion of." What do these images communicate about the nature of friendship? What is the difference between simply knowing someone and being a true companion or walking partner with them?
Proverbs 18:24 speaks of "a friend who sticks closer than a brother." We have the example of Jesus for this passage, but what does this passage look like for you as you are developing into a good friend?
The sermon draws a contrast between the marks of a wise friend and the marks of a foolish one; looking at passages like Proverbs 1:7, 19:20, and 26:11, what consistent pattern emerges about how a wise person relates to correction, discipline and learning?
Encouragement, Challenge and Personal Testimony
The sermon described a loneliness epidemic -- nearly one in five Americans have no close friends, and one in four young adults feel lonely all or most of the time. Why do you think deep friendship has become so rare, even in an age of constant connection? What does this hunger for friendship reveal about how God made us?
The message named specific friendship skills: friendliness, bringing joy and refreshment, reliability, graciousness, honest feedback and choosing wisely. Which of these skills comes most naturally to you, and which do you sense God calling you to grow in?
The sermon was honest that Solomon received his parents' wisdom about friendship but did not consistently walk in it -- and suffered great harm as a result. Have you experienced a season where walking with the wrong companions led you away from wisdom?
Putting it into Practice
The sermon challenged us to look at our closest friendships and honestly evaluate: are the people I am walking with marked by the fear of the Lord, a teachable spirit, diligence and a building rather than tearing-down posture? Take a moment this week to prayerfully evaluate your friendship. Is there a relationship you need to invest in more deeply, or one where you need to set a wiser boundary? What is one concrete step you will take?
The message encouraged us to grow in friendliness as a learnable, God-honoring skill; what is a concrete step you can take this week that can help you practice?
Listening to the Holy Spirit: Take focused time to listen to the Holy Spirit and what He wants to speak to you based on your time in Scripture and reflection questions. Let's sit in silence for 60 seconds and ask the Spirit to speak to you.
(After the minute of silence) What do you sense the Holy Spirit highlighting or speaking to you as we prayed?
What prayers come up for you based on our Scripture study? Pray for the things God is revealing to you.